


everything i wanted

by atlas_oulast



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Be More Chill Reverse Bang, Biphobia, Bullying, Child Abuse, Coping, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Homophobia, Hurt/No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Trans Jeremy Heere, Transphobia, it’s burned like one twig so far, so that’s how fast the endgame ship moves, the burn was lit at the big bang
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-09-03 02:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20256685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlas_oulast/pseuds/atlas_oulast
Summary: i had a dreami got everything i wantedJeremy Heere, a closested trans boy who’s suffering through summer with his emotionally abusive mother (what a mouthful) finds out about a supercomputer that can supposedly change your life.Two years later, Rich Goranski, a supposedly straight junior who’s suffering through life itself with his physically and emotionally abusive father and lack of any sort of ‘coolness’, finds out about a supercomputer that can supposedly change your life.AKA, a Jeremy & Rich Swapped AU where Jeremy gets the SQUIP first.





	1. ann heere, ‘mariah’ heere, & dustin kropp

**Author's Note:**

> for the bmc reverse bang - i accidentally made a gift for this when i wasn’t supposed to but oh well, i lowkey love it even tho ive resaved this draft at least 3 times and im only posting now because it’d be deleted today anyway and i still haven’t finished this ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> so, for @jamesfenimoreharper on tumblr, go see their art this is based on: https://jamesfenimoreharper.tumblr.com/post/186270569834/my-art-piece-for-the-bmcrbb-the-idea-behind-it

Mariah Alexis Heere was fourteen years old, it was July, and she had been complaining about having to be outside in the heat and humidity, so she was inside now, on her computer.

That was all from the perspective of Anne Madison Heere, watching her disobedient daughter type away on her laptop.

“Mariah, get off the computer and go outside, you’re annoying me.”

“I’ll be quiet, mom, I promise..”

“Outside. Now.”

Mariah closed her laptop and carried it outside with her, and Anne didn’t really care. At long last she was alone, away from her stupid, ugly, deadbeat husband and her bratty daughter.

From the perspective of Anne’s child, who would’ve obeyed the order to go outside had Anne just called him Jeremy, he was chatting online with a friend, because his best friend, Michael Mell, was in the Philippines for the summer, so the only person he was really able to talk to was dust_lock, or Dustin, as his name allegedly was. 

Jeremy didn’t fully trust that people told the truth online, that’s just how he was. And you could say that he wasn’t telling the truth online either, saying his name was Jeremy Caleb Adams, and the first two were correct, even though the only person in real life who knew it was Michael.

But online he could be himself, not _Mariah_, not Anne’s daughter, he could be him and nobody else.

While that was very nice, it also instilled a longing in his soul, to be able to be himself in the real world, to cut his hair and bind and wear boy’s clothes and have people call him Jeremy, to be popular and cool and have people like him as him. 

It was stupid, it wasn’t ever going to happen, especially not with his mom around, and who could ever actually like him? It was stupid that Michael did, or at least pretended to, he was quite possibly the ugliest, stupidest person alive.

There was no time of the year where Jeremy could be ‘happiest.’ School sucked ass because of bullies and schoolwork and getting up early. Summer sucked because he had to be around his mom, you know, the one who hated his guts and everything else about him, or well, hated Mariah’s guts and everything about Mariah.

He considered Mariah to be a different person, and Mariah was not him. Mariah was a girl with short, curly brown hair, as short as she dared make it, blue eyes, tons and tons of freckles, and she would wear dresses if she absolutely had to, but would prefer jeans and a shirt. 

To her mother, she was a disgusting tomboy... to her, she was a person, but an empty shell of a person, while the real inhabitant of this body, Jeremy, resided inside her, he was the one with personality and a brain, with physical mannerisms and a soul.

To her mother, Jeremy didn’t exist, and sure, she didn’t know about Jeremy at all, but that was because he was scared to come out because he knew exactly what would happen.

Truth be told, he’d prefer not to get a few bruises and be told how ugly and awful and disgusting and disappointing he was just for the chance of a parentally-approved binder at most.

He did have a binder, Michael had given him one for his birthday back in March, and he’d cried and hugged him really tightly. He couldn’t really wear it during the summer, because his mom would notice, and also he was already far too hot as it was.

And back to the current moment, he sat on the front stoop and reopened his laptop.

**dus**_**lock**: yo are you there?

**dus**_**lock**: dude

**dus**_**lock**: h-hello

**dus**_**lock** is typing

**jeremyh**: im here im here sorry

**dus**_**lock**: good cause i have something i wanna tell you about

**jeremyh**: we’re not resuming our world of warcraft conversation?

**dus**_**lock**: nah, while you were off getting a snack from mommy or whatever i found out where to buy something reaaaaallly sweet;)

**jeremyh**: what is it..? you know i can’t order shit from my laptop, i don’t have a credit card or anything, not that im allowed to

**dus**_**lock**: honestly i could mail this to your loser friend michael or whatever his name is for you, besides this requires a special kind of transaction

**jeremyh**: dustin you aren’t getting me crystal meth, right......?

**dus**_**lock**: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

**dus**_**lock**: this is BETTER than crystal meth.

**dus**_**lock**: not that ive tried crystal meth, obviously

**dus**_**lock**: but i mean it’s definitely better.

jeremyh: .....

**jeremyh**: dustin what the fuck are you talking about, exactly?

**dus**_**lock**: so it’s called a squip, stands for super quantum unit intel processor, it’s this pill you take with green Mountain Dew that’ll give you instructions on how to act

**dus**_**lock**: kinda like a life coach in your brain, i guess

**dus**_**lock**: but like this can help you do pretty much anything. wanna be popular, jeremy? wanna make your mom like you, jeremy?

**jeremyh**: how much does it cost

**dus**_**lock**: knew you’d be interested

**dus**_**lock**: so i just found out my brother sells them, he’s kinda a doofus but this shit’s legit, dude. watched him sell it to this middle aged dude and it’s LEGIT.

**dus**_**lock**: they’re four hundred bucks apiece, but i mean you only want one.

**jeremyh**: i don’t know how to send your brother 400 dollars though

**dus**_**lock**: you live in red bank new jersey, i live in queens and i have a car. just leave it under the orange and green dumpster behind the food bank and ill mail michael the pill

**jeremyh**: how do you know where i live..?

**dus**_**lock**: relax, remember when i found out about apocalypse of the damned and i mailed to michael? he’s in red bank so i know you are. relax i don’t know exactly where you live and im also not a serial killer, y’know

**jeremyh**: if this actually works i would willingly walk to new york just to do a live re-enactment of the ‘we’re not worthy’ scene of wayne’s world just for you

**dus**_**lock**: you’re a friggin nerd but whatever

* * *

Jeremy left a wad of cash in an envelope under the dumpster behind the food bank, and three days later, a package arrived at Michael’s house.

It was a box, not very large but larger and heavier than Jeremy had expected. It was a pill, why did it weigh at least two pounds?

The bulk of the weight, apparently, came from an over abundance of packing peanuts, a bottle of Mountain Dew, and not from a gallon sized ziplock bag with a quart sized ziplock bag inside it and inside that a pill, sleek, about the size of Jeremy’s thumbnail, looking like a slightly larger and more brightly coloured than normal wintergreen Tictac.

There was also a piece of lined paper with instructions in messy print, simply saying ‘take with included mountain dew, don’t scream too loud.’

“Why would you scream?” Michael asked, opening up the Mountain Dew cautiously in an attempt to let all the fizziness that’d bottled up from the shipping process out before Jeremy had a pill melting in his mouth or something.

“I dunno. Oh well,” Jeremy said, sliding open the first baggie and then reaching in to undo the second.

By the time he had the pill out, Michael had dealt with the carbonation issues, and there was no point in waiting.

Jeremy popped in the pill, downed it in a swing of Mountain Dew, and swallowed it all down.

And then he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“You feel any different, Jeremy?” Michael asked, gently shaking his shoulder.

“Like more of a doofus than normal? Yeah.”

“It’s probably not designed to work immediately, most pills don’t.”

“Guess I’ll wait, then.”

But by the time he had to go home, nothing had yet happened. And now he was going to have to face his mom, with no magic pill to help him out like Dustin had promised.

He was already planning a long, long, long angry message to him, demanding the return of his four hundred dollars. That was all of his Bat Mitzvah money, maybe he hadn’t been planning on what to spend it on but it certainly wasn’t an overpriced breath mint.

And then he felt a sharp twinge of pain, starting from the back of his neck and skittering down his spine.

He cried out, and heard a crisp voice speak as he did so.

_Remain_ _calm_.

He whipped his head around as another round of pain came whipping down his spine, and another. Nobody was around, it was five thirty on a July evening, and the sun wasn’t far enough down for people on evening walks to come out. Sure, he was in a residential area, but no windows or doors were open, nobody was in sight.

_Calibration_ _in_ _process_, _please_ excuse some mild _discomfort_.

You call this mild?! he thought, collapsing as the pain intensified and he fell to the unforgiving, still scorching hot surface he called the sidewalk.

The waves kept coming, stronger and stronger and more and more pain each time.

_Calibration_ _complete_. _Access_ _procedure_ initiated.

And all of a sudden, as those crisp words were spoken, the pain disappeared.

Jeremy slowly, cautiously stood, looking around for people who could’ve been talking to him.

_Discomfort_ _levels_ _may_ _increase_.

As in, dramatic, whole body white pain. It was like being stabbed all over, while also getting smacked with an eighteen wheeler, like a fruit fly, and getting burned with an electrical fire. Why wasn’t his hair burning off?

Through the indescribably horrible pain, Jeremy heard the voice continue speaking.

_Accessing neural memory._

_Accessing muscle memory._

_And then, finally, Access procedure complete._

By some small miracle, the pain finally cleared, but Jeremy wasn’t really interested in getting up from the ground. Were all his limbs really still intact?

_Jeremy_ _Heere_, the voice spoke, drawing back his attention.

_Welcome to your super quantum unit intel processor._

So it’d worked_!_

_Your SQUIP._


	2. keanu reeves & a happy family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for transphobia

Jeremy’s first instinct was to turn right around and tell Michael it’d worked, and then right after that came the realisation that holy fuck Keanu Reeves was standing right in front of him.

“S-so... Keanu R-reeves?” He asked, embarrassed at his shaky voice as usual, even though he was 99.9% sure that this wasn’t actual Keanu Reeves. He touched a pant leg to make sure, and his hand went through. But was it just a hologram or just all in his head?

_My default mode, of course. You can also set me for Mike Myers, Mark Hamill, an extremely sexy Batgirl with World Of Warcraft breasts and buttocks._

If Jeremy could’ve turned any redder, he would’ve. “Nope! Nope! Keanu Reeves is fine!”

Walking around with someone with boobs that big would be popularity in three seconds, but how would he sneak that into his bedroom? Better question, how would he sneak this Keanu Reeves doppelgänger up into his bedroom?

_Only you can see or hear me, so it’d be best not to continue speaking out loud to me. Just think at me, as if you’re telepathic._

“Like in X-Men... or Keeper of the Lost Cities..” Jeremy breathed, in total awe.

_This is going to be a lot of work, clearly. Why don’t you get up and head home, Jeremy?_

Jeremy stood up slowly, a little sore from the pain of activating this damn thing.

_Your mother is expecting you home. It’d be best not to anger her more than she already will be, at your average walking pace you will arrive at five fifty three PL, so you will arrive before six o clock, but your mother, as is her nature, will find a reason to be angry at you. _

The words were like a bucket of cold water thrown over him, bringing him back to reality, where he had to deal with his mom for the rest of summer.

_Don’t worry, I will be a great deal of help in your interactions with her._

Grudgingly, Jeremy walked the rest of the way home, mentally steeling himself to face his mother. The SQUIP didn’t seem to be interested in speaking, it faded in and out of sight at no certain pattern as Jeremy walked.

He finally walked up to the front stoop, and opened up the front door. Unlocked, as always.

His mom was standing in front of the huge mirror they had in the front hall, running her long, thin fingers though her already immaculate curly dark hair, piercing blue eyes looking at her reflection with obvious pleasure.

Her eyes snapped over to Jeremy, who looked down at his feet silently.

_Don’t look down, you’re making yourself even more of a target. Look her in the eye, fearlessly._

It’s mom! This is the woman who smacked me across the face with a wooden spoon when I was four because I didn’t put my shoes on the right feet.

_Fine then, stare at this lovely carpet, installed in 1978, hasn’t been cleaned since. Original colour was a cream white, but forty years has turned it a dark beige.... at best._

“Oh, go up to your room, you’re not to come out for the rest of the night.” It was then that Jeremy realised she was wearing a fancy red dress, sleeveless, showing off way more of his mother’s cleavage than he’d like to have ever seen. It hugged her thin, bony hips, and ended above the knee. It was so tight that he wasn’t quite sure if she was breathing.

It was another night where she’d bring home a stranger.

“If you come out, Mariah, you don’t want to know what your punishment will be. And you already know what’ll happen if your dingus father finds out.”

Jeremy nodded, somewhat absently, and went by her up the stairs, up to his room, where he shut his door quietly.

He was used to being sent up to his room like this, so he had a little bit of food stashed up here. He got out a pudding cup and a plastic spoon, and plopped down on his bed.

Weren't you supposed to be helping me with that?

_I did, and you did not put to use my advice. After that, I simply decided to hang back and collect data, to be put to use in order to optimise your interactions with your mother._

Jeremy tore off the lid of the pudding cup and took a bite.

This is going to take a lot of getting used to.

_It is July, Jeremy. I will have you whipped into shape by August, and if you listen to me, you will gain popularity status at school fairly quickly. Everything about you will be liked, admired, by your peers. But first, clearly some changes are needed._

What do I have to do?

* * *

_Number_ _one_: _you_ _must_ _come_ _out_ _to_ _your_ _family_.

Jeremy was sitting on the couch, facing his parents in the armchairs across from him. His mom looked bored, one thin leg crossed over the other. His father, confused, looking at Jeremy expectantly.

“So I... um... well... I-I just..”

“Come on, Mariah, I don’t have all day for this nonsense,” his mom said, cruel and crisp.

_Just day it. It does you no good whatsoever to wait or dance around the subject._

“I’m trans,” Jeremy blurted out.

_There_ _we_ _go_.

His father’s face grew more confused, and then understanding dawned on him.

His mother’s face went from disinterested to shock, rage, disapproval.

_Do_ _not_ _look_ _down_ _at_ _the_ _ground_, _Jeremy_.

He stopped the instinctive movement before he could complete it, switching to looking at his mother expectantly.

“No, you are not transgender, Mariah. You are a girl in every sense. I don’t have time for this.”

“I’m a-a boy, m-mom,” Jeremy said, his voice shaking like a leaf.

“If he’s a boy, we have to support him, Ann-”

“Mariah is a girl. And she is in deep, deep trouble,” she snapped, cutting his dad off.

“Mom, please..”

“This is your fault, Paul! You’ve ruined my daughter!” She screeched, turning her rage elsewhere.

“If he’s a boy I will support him, Ann, this isn’t very difficult!”

“It’s your fault she’s like this!”

Ah, yes, Jeremy did enjoy it when his parents screamed at each other, which wasn’t an uncommon occurence, but definitely unwelcome.

What do I do?!

_Nothing_. _Let_ _them_ _fight_.

What on Earth is _that_ going to accomplish?!

_Getting_ _involved_ _will_ _only_ _make_ _matters_ _worse_.

They screamed at each other, then, seemingly unaware of the poor boy sitting in front of them, wanting to scream himself. They did this far, far too often, he just wanted it to go away, he wanted it to stop.

They didn’t stop. They never stopped.

_Go_ _up_ _to_ _your_ _room_.

Jeremy had no trouble complying.

His dad came and knocked, later, when it was dark outside and the screaming had finally ceased.

“Come in,” Jeremy said quietly, not looking up from his phone from his position, laying on his stomach on his bed.

In came his father, looking tired and deafeated. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I guess,” he said numbly, absently.

His father sat down on the edge of his bed, and he was quiet and still for awhile.

“Look... I know it took a whole lot of courage to do what you just did, and your mother... she’s a... she just...”

“I get it.”

“...Just... no matter what happens, or what she says, I will always support you, and I will always love you, Ma- do you want to be called something else?”

Finally getting to say it out loud to someone other than himself or Michael felt like drinking a cool, refreshing glass of water, like finding that water in the middle of a desert.

“Jeremy... I want to be called Jeremy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @nbchristinecanigula on le tumblr uwuuuuuu


	3. chloe valentine, madeline d’amoinville, brooke lohst, & friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a trip to the mall that ends up being one of the best days of jeremy’s life, and then another trip to the mall that isn’t quite as good but apparently is very productive.

**Next, you need new clothing. You want to be a boy? You need to dress like one.**

_I already have a binder, that’s helpful, right?_

**Extremely. Although washing it occasionally would help with your hygiene.**

_Whatever... just, new clothes. I wouldn’t particularly mind that... but I also just spent pretty much all my money on _you.

**You have two hundred dollars hidden around this room.**

_I do?_

**Yes, largely in change. You own seven hundred fifty dimes, did you know that?**

After an hour of crawling around his room on his hands and knees, all seven hundred fifty dimes had been found, as well as many many other coins, and several bills.

_Will_ _a_ _store_ _take_ _exact_ _change?_

**They will. That’s not to say that they will be overwhelmingly pleased with you, but they will accept it. It’s not like you’re trying to pay with euros.**

So Jeremy went to the mall. He wanted to take Michael, but the SQUIP said that it was better to leave him out of this shopping trip. Why, exactly, he wouldn’t say, but that meant taking the free shuttle to the mall.

_Do people still even hang out at the mall?_

**Yes and no. Our primary objective of this field trip is to get you better clothing, not to interact with cool, chill fellow teenagers. That will occur on a separate trip to the mall.**

_Why_?

**Well, Jeremy, if you want to be popular, it is a good idea to make friends with the popular people, or at least make their acquaintance, before school begins. Making enemies, obviously, is not particularly helpful. But anyway... it is time to shop.**

For two hours, Jeremy shopped till he dropped, the smile on his face growing bigger and bigger as he bought more and more _boy _clothing. No more dresses or shirts designed for boobs, he got real, actual boy shirts!

**See, Jeremy? This is why you need me. Would you have ever gotten to buy all this without my guidance? **The SQUIP pointed out as Jeremy was waiting in line to check out.

_I_ _guess_ _not_.

**See, you’ll be wonderful in no time at all. You’ve already made quite a bit of progress.**

_I just wish I could get on T._

**Oh, I can help with that.**

_What do you mean?_

**I can manually increase your testosterone levels and decrease the estrogen levels, safely, efficiently, and faster than testosterone injections would.**

_You can?_

A pause. **I’ve**** just increased the amount of testosterone in your system. I will continue to increase it whenever it is safest and most likely to be fruitful.**

Jeremy wanted to jump for joy. He almost did, actually, and then he realised he was surrounded by people still.

**Yes, perhaps it’d be best not to do that, just a hunch.**

Still, there was a newfound spring in his step as he left the store. He’d gotten boy clothes, gotten what was basically a hormone shot without needles, and all still two weeks before school started!

Now, if only he could-

**Hair? It’s best for you to do that at home, yourself. I will give you instructions and guidance, do not worry.**

This was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him. No, it was _definitely_ the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

Everything was going his way for once in life, and he’d hadn’t even had this pill for more than seven days yet! 

Hands down, it was the best four hundred dollars he’d ever spent, or would ever spend. After everything he’d been through, he finally got a reward for it all. The reward was sweet, filled him with pride and happiness and fucking _confidence._

Dustin was a miracle worker. What if he’d never met him and had to keep suffering in the closet? Now he was free.

**jeremyh**: thank you so goddamn much dustin 

* * *

**Now, it’s time to socialise with the popular people. Chloe Valentine, Madeline d’Amoinville, Brooke Lohst, and Jake Dillinger will all Ben at the mall today. And you’re going to casually run into them.**

_How do you know they’ll be there?_

**That question is irrelevant. Wear your new blue shirt, the new jeans, and new socks with your, of course, brand new Converse.**

So Jeremy complied, showering first, then getting dressed. When he looked at himself in the mirror, with his new short hair, he felt... proud. He’d come so far in just a few days, how much further could he go?

He rode the free shuttle to the mall again, and fake shopped around some trendy teenager store that he hadn’t bothered to check the name of. Apparently the popular kids were supposed to show up anytime now, but he was beginning to loose hope and gain anxiety when a ‘few minutes’ turned into an hour, then two.

Would they even like him? Sure he was dressed like a popular kid, but he had an ugly, girlish voice, and his haircut was good but what if it wasn’t perfect? Would they see through it all and know he was a girl? What if he started hyperventilating and then suffocated in his binder? What if-

“Ugh, I cannot _believe_ that Niya Barrett actually shops at Justice. What is she, twelve?”

**That is Chloe Valentine. Act casual, try not to sweat, and do not directly approach her. Go look at that rack of shirts behind the display, she will notice.**

He abandoned the underwear display he’d been looking through for the past half hour and went to the rack of shirts, pretending to look through them for the right size, and pretending not to notice-

“Who are _you?”_ someone sniped in a heavy French accent, and Jeremy jumped and turned around to face a tall girl with a sharp face with a rich, dark umber complexion, piercing, judging brown eyes, and her black hair done in long, smooth braids falling gently down to her waist. She wore a teal shirt and black jeans, as well as tawny brown boots. Her lips were thin and were glazed with a purple lipstick, all curled into a suspicious look.

“I-I’m Jeremy..” he responded, startled.

“And Jeremy,” she said, her rich accent making his name sound odd in her eggplant coloured lips, “What are you doing here, in the woman’s section of K’s Clothing, in the vicinity of I, Madeline, and Chloe, and Brooke? What is it about this shirt that interests you?” Her words were laced with careful suspicion, but interest, and she pulled a shirt from the rack.

And that’s when he realised that the shirt he’d been looking at was a girl’s shirt, hot pink and dusted in sequins. It shone and sparkled in the harsh yellow lighting of the store. 

_What do I say?!_

**Repeat after me, Jeremy. **He cleared his throat, of a supercomputer with the fact of Keanu Reeves had to a throat to clear at all. **You see, I had been shopping around the men’s section- **

“You see, I had been shopping around in the men’s section..”

**And this shirt caught my eye, and I realised it was the same shirt that my ex-girlfriend had worn so often**

“And this shirt caught my eye, and I realised it the same shirt that my ex-girlfriend had worn so often.” 

“And who was this ex-girlfriend, Jeremy?” Now Chloe had come over, standing tall above everyone else, scarily tall for her age and social stature, looking slightly intrigued... but mostly bored. “Who could be so immature to wear _this _scrap of fabric? It belongs in Justice.”

**Niya Barret**

“Niya Barrett.” 

The boredom washed away from Chloe’s thin, pasty face, framed by clearly dyed blonde hair, and her brown eyes, not so different from Madeline’s, were filled with excitement, slight fury, and clear interest. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry for you, having dated such a skank must’ve been _so _degrading,” she whined.

**I thought she was a good person, and then she lured me in, tricked me, and then I caught her with Tyler List.**

“I thought she was a good person, and she lured me in, tricked me, and then I caught her with Tyler List.” He had no idea who Tyler List was, let alone Niya, other than the fact that apparently she shopped at Justice, but if the SQUIP wanted him to say it, he would.

Another girl gasped, and she was a soft, curved girl of light complexion, with blonde hair, natural, that seemed to float and softly shine, far better than Chloe’s hair. Her green eyes were gentle, pitying. That was Brooke Lohst.

“That’s so awful of her! I’m so so sorry, Jerry,” she said, her voice expressing real sympathy, not the fake stuff Chloe wrapped around her words before they exited her pursed, magenta lips.

“I- Jeremy-“ 

“I can't believe she’d sink that low, goodness gracious,” Madeline said, her voice not the harsh, plastic tone Chloe used, or the soft, genuine tone of Brooke. It was... someplace in the middle? A grey area between the sincerity of Brooke and the frightening fake-ness of Chloe.

“She’s gonna have hell to pay on the very first day of school, don’t worry, Jeremy” that statment from Chloe was... ominous. And he realised, Chloe was going to spread rumours about poor Niya and he’d been lying anyway and-

**Oh, calm down. Niya will be fine, and this will boost your popularity prospects.**

So he buried down his doubts and complied.

“Oh, you wanna come to lunch with us? Once Jake’s done dicking around in the Dick’s across the way we’re going to Casa Del Burrito,” Madeline offered. There was no sign of protest from Chloe, and Brooke- 

Brooke looked up at him, gentle, caring, and his heart fluttered, with her simple question of, “Come to lunch?”

“...Sure” he said, and Brooke bounced and cheered. Chloe shot her a look and she knocked it off.

“I’ll text Jake that we’re on our way,” Chloe said. 

Riding the escalator up to the restaurant, behind Chloe Fucking Valentine and Brooke Damn Lohst next to him and Madeline d'Amoinville was... well, merde. He was surrounded by popular girls and mildly freaking out.

**Calm down and play it cool or else, Jeremy.**

He didn’t know what the cool ‘or else’ involved, but he really didn’t want to find out. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pant legs, hoping the girls didn’t notice, and breathed in and out.

Jake met them at the entrance, looking happy yet casual, leaning against a wall. He was a few inches shorter than the imposing height Chloe stood at, tall and slim, with cold, dark brown skin, dark hair cropped, wearing those annoying rich boy hightops, skinny jeans that he pulled off obnoxiously well, and a navy blue muscle tank- and there sure were muscles to show off.

“Yo, you must be Jeremy,” Jake said, extending his arm for a fist bump. Jeremy bumped him, hopefully not too weak or too forceful and hoping his knuckles weren’t as sweaty as he thought. “Nice to meet you, dude.”

”Nice to meet you too.”

He ordered what he was told to order and stayed near the counter with Brooke to pick up the food when it was ready, while Chloe, Jake, and Madeline claimed a table and got drinks. 

Brooke engaged in some small talk with him while they waited, asking about his age, if he’d gotten his schedule for school yet, and in the simple questions... Jeremy saw someone looking up at him with... adoration? It was weird... he didn’t know what to do with himself. Why would anyone have *that* look on their face, like he was the human embodiment of sunshine or something, especially after they’d just met him, especially since it was _him._

But he was pretty sure the hand brushing when they picked up the trays of food wasn’t an accident, nor was the fact that she ended up sitting next to him in one of the two chairs on one side of the table, with Madeline, Jake, and Chloe all on the booth seats, on the other side, nor were the soft, gentle, caring looks she shot him throughout the meal.

_Does... Does she...?_

**Brooke Lohst is developing a crush on you. Don’t do anything right now, just let the feelings further develop without your interference. We’ll take action on the second day of school.**

Brooke’s little smile and wave as she left would keep Jeremy up at night, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> le tumblr est @nbchristinecanigula
> 
> mettez votre ceinture de sécurité


	4. michael mell & brooke lohst

The first day of school quickly approached, and Jeremy went school shopping - without Michael, for the first time in ten years.

_It’s best for you to do this alone, Jeremy. You’ll talk to him on the first day of school._

How do you basically predict the future like that? It’s fucking creepy.

_My programming allows me to see certain probable futures, based on data I've collected. As time goes on and I collect more data, my predictions grow more and more accurate. However, so far none of my predictions have been wrong. Quite fascinating, truly._

So he went school shopping, avoided his mother, who hit him pretty much whenever he was in her line of vision, and went out four times a week at one point. He knew his coming out had to do with his mother’s more frequent cheating, and he felt bad, but knew that unless he wanted his home life to get worse, he couldn’t really do anything about it.

He was scared for the first day of school, but also - for the first time since middle school - _excited_ for school. He was looking like a boy now, people would call _him_ Jeremy, and if he passed to the popular people, he’d pass to everyone else.

And he’d been texting Brooke and Madeline and Jake a bit, just small talk, really. He hadn’t quite achieved the level he needed to be at to achieve the gift of Chloe’s number, but that was okay. Knowing that _she_ could text him would make him anxious as hell.

And then the magical day of fate arrived. Cue jazz hands, sparkles, and too much celebration too early.

He showered, got dressed, brushed his hair, put on his glasses, his shoes, checked to make sure everything he needed was in his bag, and then headed out.

Nobody offered him breakfast, wished him well on his first day of sophomore year, but he was used to it. Nobody cared. It was terribly unfortunate, but it was still old news.

He took the bus to school, and Brooke was on his route. She got on about five stops after him, and immediately sat down next to him, waving hello shyly and smiling sweetly as she pulled her backpack up onto her lap.

Their conversation was small talk, as Jeremy had observed with the texting, but it started developing into something more... but only from Brooke’s side. Downright flirtiness, goddamnit.

They had to part ways because their lockers were in separate halls and they had separate home rooms, and while unlocking his locker for the first time this year, he came face to face with Michael.

”....Hi...” Jeremy mumbled.

”Jesus fuck, Jeremy, I couldn’t even recognise you. You look...”

”Boyish?”

”Well, for sure. And different. A change. A very very good change.”

”Thank you.”

”So how does your mom feel about it?”

”Does hitting me more than usual and cheating more count?”

”...Yep. You okay in there? Remember, Mom and Nanay can always call the police if it gets out of hand...”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

”Okaaaaay... but promise you’ll call me if you do need me?”

”Promise.”

That wasn’t so bad, mister squippy.

_That, Jeremy, is a completely unacceptable response. But there’s more to come. Your friendship with Michael will be changed immensely, in order to boost you up higher in the wild world of popularity._

Oh, cool.

_Why don’t we go check on Brooke, Jeremy?_

Checking on Brooke resulted in giggles, more flirting, and Jeremy was very glad that she carried most of the conversation, and everything was otherwise okay on this first day of school. And despite the SQUIP and all, it was surprising but so.

Sure, Chloe was still cruel and menacing, Madeline being difficult to understand on an emotional level, but otherwise nice, Jake a little bit of a dick but mostly fine, and of course Brooke, sweet and genuine and kind.

His first lunch at school was... mesmerising. Michael had waved him over to a table in the far corner, but Brooke and Jake were waving him over to the popular table, right smack in the middle of the cafeteria, and he sat down there, sliding down next to Brooke on the end.

Jeremy didn’t look over to see what Michael’s expression was, but he knew it would be one of shock.

_Inquire about the quality of the hot lunch._

That wouldn’t be very hard, he currently had an unidentifiable creamy beige lump of crud on his tray, a fruit cup with limp fruit, and some stale pretzels

”So, what’s this crap we’ve been served today?” He asked. Everyone else at the table had the hot lunch too.

”Maybe pasta that’s been smushed under a semi?” Madeline responded, picking at her lump of mush as she spoke.

”Or maybe it’s cream of mushroom soup, but too thick,” Jake said.

Jeremy breathed a silent sigh of relief as his joke went over well enough, and he took a small, experimental bite of food, letting his nose scrunch up at the taste.

”It’s spicy? And slimy... ughh,” Jeremy complained, setting down his fork. How was he supposed to eat all of this?

But everyone else around the table seemed to have a similar distaste for the lunch, and Chloe shoved her tray away.

”It’s disgusting, goddamnit. Maybe we ought to just get some vending machine snacks, because motherfuck. How do they expect us to eat this shit?”

”Oh, um, Jeremy and I will go get snacks, Chlo,” Brooke quickly jumped in, jumping up as she said it.

”Get some popsicles, maybe some M&Ms. Nothing healthy, this isn’t preschool,” Chloe instructed, handing Jeremy a messy wad of cash and a bored look.

So Jeremy and Brooke trekked across the cafeteria to the exit into the hallway, and Jeremy caught Michael’s stunned stare. He made no facial expression of his own in response, even though they’d locked eyes.

They exited the cafeteria, and the small collection of vending machines were only a couple hundred feet away. A sense of panic began to instil in Jeremy, because what did he do now? He had the cash, did he hand it to Brooke, or did he hand half to Brooke, or-

“Here, how much did she give us?” Brooke asked, turning to him expectantly.

He unclenched his fist, and counted twenty dollars in one dollar bills, plenty of money. He handed Brooke ten, and she seemed to be satisfied with that, getting to work at one machine.

He took the second, getting M&Ms for Chloe, as well as five popsicles and some Skittles for himself. Brooke got a bag of chips for Madeline and a different bag of chips for Jake, and some Skittles for herself.

”We match!” She giggled, pointing to his.

”Yeah,” Jeremy said, smiling. 

_Look at her. Her attraction to you is painfully clear. Tomorrow, you’ll act on her attraction. Dating a popular girl will cement your place in school society, and only on the second day of school. You’re doing so incredibly well._

Is it really that obvious? Yeah, the way she looks at me, it’s obvious, but otherwise..

_Jeremy, she’s been attempting to flirt with you. It couldn’t be more obvious if someone painted every wall in the entire school with the phrase ‘Brooke Eden Lohst has a big fat juicy crush on Jeremy William Heere.’ The entire school is holding their breath to see how this goes, seeing as not many people even know you went here freshman year._

Okay, fine, but why am I waiting until tomorrow to say anything?

_Trust me, it will have the most favourable outcome if you do it that way. Today is just a really stupid day to do it._

Why?

_It just is, you pathetic freak. _

A sharp electric shock ran down Jeremy’s spine, and he barely suppressed a cry of pain.

_I have the ability to shock you into submission. I’d rather not use it, so I’ll only do it when inherently necessary. So if you’d like to not be shocked, you are to listen to me, stop arguing, and go back to the cafeteria with Brooke or I‘m not responsible for what happens to you next. Besides, those popsicles might melt._

_”_You ready, Jeremy?” Brooke asked, grabbing her change from the vending machine after purchasing one last item- a small plastic package of crackers with that cheese you were supposed to dip them in but you always ended up having eighty five percent of the cheese left when your, like, five crackers had been consumed.

”Yep!” Jeremy replied.

On the way back to their table, Michael got up from his and started making his way over, obviously hoping to catch Jeremy before he got to the table.

But with the amount of people crammed into the cafeteria, Michael’s progress was slow, and he was edging around people, and the lunch monitors would grab him if he ran, plus he’d run into someone.

The students were crammed into this already putrid cafeteria like sardines in a can, as disgusting of a metaphor as that was, it was definitely fitting.

But Michael still had a few more tables to get through when Brooke and Jeremy reached the popular table. He and Jeremy locked eyes again while Jeremy was passing out the snacks, and Michael’s gaze was one of shock, surprise, questioning, betrayal.

Jeremy looked away, and Michael retreated.

_Excellent handling of the situation, Jeremy. That’s some progress, if a small amount. _

Brooke and Jeremy shared the same final period, math. Brooke was apparently excellent at math, and Jeremy, as per usual, wasn’t, really.

Hey Squippy, can you help me?

A sudden shock ran down his spine, and Jeremy tensed up, again barely suppressing a cry or gasp of pain.

_Do not refer to me as such, Jeremy. Call me Squip, nothing else. Or, well, Keanu or Keanu Reeves, or Mr. Reeves or Mr. Keanu, I suppose. Data shows that somebody hosts prefer to refer to their squips by the persona the squip assumes._

Fine, fine. Will you help me with my math? You’re a supercomputer, I’d tend to think that this would be a piece of cake for you.

_No, actually, it is more opportune for you to continue struggling on your own. Brooke will notice, and you can ask her if she can tutor you after school, starting tomorrow and no sooner. Your mother is expecting you home, that’s the excuse you'll give. You’ll both go to the bleachers by the football field to study, and that is when you’ll act upon her romantic attraction. Like I said, tomorrow is a more opportune day for such an action to happen._

Okay, fine.

So Jeremy suffered the rest of the way through math class, and in the hallway afterwards, Brooke ran up to him.

”Jeremy! You want a ride home?” She asked, breathless from the brisk run she’d just had, and Jeremy realised his speedy yet subconscious walking pace, almost a run, really.

_Yes_.

”Yeah! Sure!”

”Cool. So, um, math’s not your strongest subject, huh?”

”Not at all. I fucking stink at it... but you’re amazing at it.”

_An_ _answer to her question and a compliment, excellent._

_”_Oh, thanks.” Brooke blushed, and Jeremy wanted to as well.

”Say, would you be willing to, um, tutor me? I mean, you’re freaking amazing and I really don’t need to fail this class this year.” A nervous laugh to top off the question.

Brooke’s face lit the fuck up, it was almost comical how much it did. “Oh, I’d love to, Jeremy! That’d be so much fun! After school every day?”

”Yeah, sure. Just not today... my mom’s expecting me home.”

”Yeah, same,” Brooke groaned. “She’s going to be annoying about how this was my first day of school, but she loves me, so..” she trailed off, fidgeting with the hem on her shirt.

_“_That’s always nice,” Jeremy said, and he proceeded to internally loose his shit over what he’d just said.

_No, actually, that was a wonderful thing so say. Jesus Christ, Jeremy, you’re practucally a natural at this. Don’t elaborate, let that captivate her mind, let her puzzle over it for awhile._

”...Yeah,” Brooke had responded, face knitted with question, and concern. They walked outside together, to the parking lot, to a minivan that was the actual colour of rust, and not in a good way. The front bumper was held on with rope.

”Yeah, this is Gulchie, my mom’s car. Her name’s Gulchie because it’s the same colour as Mrs. Gulch’s bike in The Wizard Of Oz. It looks like shit but it hasn’t fallen apart yet.”

The ride to Jeremy’s house actually wasn’t as scary as he’d been expecting, and as he moved to get out, Brooke reached over grabbed his hand.

They stared at each other, at their interlocked hands, neither knowing what to say.

”I... have a good evening, Jeremy..” Brooke said quietly, letting go of his hand.

God, the Squip was right, it really was obvious how much Brooke liked him.

**Author's Note:**

> come nag me on tumblr to finish any of my other multichaps @nbchristinecanigula


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